Dear subscribers,
You are, at the time of this writing, theoretical. If you aren’t theoretical—but, in fact, actual—then hello, there! We’re so glad to have you.
We’ve been fairly quiet lately, with the exception of the occasional Twitter bon mot. It’s been nearly a year since we’ve published anything (if you didn’t catch them when they were first posted, go read “The Admissions Committee on Reincarnated Souls (ACORS)” and “John Lennon’s Tweets Regarding Last Night’s Fallon Appearance” on Weekly Humorist), but that doesn’t mean we haven’t been busy. Andy started as the editor at Humorist Books and held open submissions for the first time, and we’re now seeing some of the fruits of those labors, with more releases slated for the spring and summer. And, of course, we’ve been hard at work on our next novel, The Carlyles.
Though technically a sequel to our debut novel, From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts, this will be a completely standalone work. It’s a much more ambitious project than Campaign Trail. When we were first brainstorming the novel in 2019, Michael was reading a lot of Victorian literature and Andy was wrist-deep in Tolstoy, and in these styles, we came to appreciate how the authors crafted such rich character ensembles and weaved together seemingly disparate storylines into surprising narrative tapestries. In The Carlyles, we’ve sought to accomplish this feat ourselves, albeit with our patented Bleicher & Newton flair for the farcical. Stay on the lookout for more news on this project. We expect to finish it a little later this year.
Speaking of Victorian literature, here’s a short humor article we wrote some time ago, which proved to be so esoteric, we couldn’t run it in any reputable comedy publication. May it find a home here, among our fans dedicated enough to read to the end of this letter.
Sincerely,
Michael Bleicher & Andy Newton
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Every Footnote You Decided to Skip From That Victorian Novel
Dr. Lyndstrom read his correspondence from Rome: City in Italy.
the beautiful Maria: Likely based on the author's first cousin.
Her red cheeks: In 19th-century Britain, women were expected to marry and have children. However, census figures for the period reveal there were far more women than men.
“In the gaol with others of his ilk”:The Debtors' Act of 1869 limited the ability of the courts to sentence debtors to prison, but it did not entirely prohibit them from doing so.
“Which, being the first born, Mr. Higglesworth inherited, but how he made a fortune from summat that small’s a right mystery”: the Groundskeeper alludes here to primogeniture, the right, by law or custom, of the firstborn legitimate son to inherit his parent's entire or main estate, in preference to daughters, elder illegitimate sons, younger sons and collateral relatives; in some cases the estate would instead have been the inheritance of the firstborn child or occasionally the firstborn daughter.
bent over his plow: A large farming implement with one or more blades fixed in a frame, drawn by a tractor or by animals and used for cutting furrows in the soil and turning it over, especially to prepare for the planting of seeds.
“Soul of Christ, sanctify her,” whispered the vicar: Jesus Christ, believed by Christians to be the Son of God, was crucified in or about 33 C.E.
Dr. Lyndstrom left deeply troubled: The Debtors' Act of 1869 limited the ability of the courts to sentence debtors to prison, but it did not entirely prohibit them from doing so. See part one, chap. XXIII, note 4.
“with an apple”: Plays on the sense of the female anatomy.
“But Mr. Clareborne, though Analise Betts is twenty-three and without a dowry, she is exceedingly handsome and might marry well”: Mrs. Clareborne is here referring to Analise Betts' marriage prospects.
“Leave my sight, you d—d slattern!”: In 19th-century Britain, it was considered sinful for a woman to have sex prior to marriage.
Miss Elmwood: In the manuscript, Miss Elmwood is "Miss Harriet Elmwood."
Dr. Lyndstrom’s recent return: Scholars disagree as to whether the author refers here to the Revolutions of 1848 (known in some countries as the Spring of Nations or the Year of Revolution), which were a series of political upheavals throughout Europe in 1848 and remain the most widespread revolutionary wave in European history. See, e.g., Edmonton (1948). Others insist that the phrase alludes to Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 ("Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"); see Carlsen (1923). The manuscript offers no insight.
Outing: Excursion, with the added sense of "breaking out," or "breaking away."
“Mr. Higglesworth seemed uncommon worried”: The Debtors' Act of 1869 limited the ability of the courts to sentence debtors to prison, but it did not entirely prohibit them from doing so. See part one, chap. XXIII, note 4, and part three, chap. IV, note 2.
“Buona sera”: “Good evening.”
"…a telegraph cable": Dr. Lyndstrom is referring to the telegraph, which was developed and patented by Samuel Morse in 1837.
No, he would not be another Napoleon, with his indomitable campaigns: Napoléon Bonaparte (15 August 1769 – 5 May 1821) was a French statesman and military leader who rose to prominence during the French Revolution and led several successful campaigns during the French Revolutionary Wars.
“There is a passage from The Canterbury Tales about a plague-stricken mule”: There is no passage in TheCanterbury Tales about a plague-stricken mule.
“a mossy bed”: Madame Pickawick may be referring to the meadows for which the Lake District is famous, or playing on the sense of the female anatomy.
frame: Structure.
surprised: Captured without warning.
buckle: Buckle for a shoe.
“A chimney-sweep”: Boys as young as four climbed hot flues that could be as narrow as 81 square inches. Work was dangerous, and boys could get jammed in the flue, suffocate, or burn to death. Mr. Higglesworth may also be playing on the sense of the female anatomy.
“And to think Analise Betts his daughter, and due to inherit it all!”: Mrs. Clareborne means that Analise Betts will inherit Mr. Higglesworth’s fortune because it has been discovered that she is his daughter.
Dr. Lyndstrom was to present her with his grandmother’s ring: Dr. Lyndstrom intends to propose to Analise Betts.